Finding Purpose In Fatherhood

I’ve spent a lot of time grappling with the idea that my day job—my 9-to-5 grind in sales—must directly align with my deepest passions to feel meaningful. For a long while, I believed that if I didn’t love what I sold or who I sold it to, then my work was inherently lacking purpose. But recently, my perspective has begun to shift, thanks in large part to joining an online sales community.

Engaging in this community has reminded me that “purpose” doesn’t have to be solely derived from the product on my line card or the industry I serve. Instead, my job can act as a gateway—an avenue to build skills, gain experience, and develop insights that I can then share with others who are on a similar path. By contributing to the growth of my peers and mentees in the community, I’m discovering a level of fulfillment that I never found in my primary sales role alone.

Redefining Purpose Through Contribution
In the past, I struggled with feeling like I needed to tie every aspect of my professional life back to a grand cause. As a father seeking purpose, I often wondered if I was missing the mark because my day-to-day tasks felt disconnected from my personal ideals. But by focusing on what I can give back to other sales professionals, I’m realizing that impact isn’t limited to the content of my pipeline or the logos on my customer list.

If I share hard-earned lessons from sales calls gone wrong, or offer guidance on navigating tricky sales cycles, I’m providing real value. I’m helping others sidestep pitfalls I fell into, showing them more efficient ways to build relationships, and validating the emotions that come with the highs and lows of this career. This reciprocal exchange—where my experiences help others grow—instills a sense of meaning that no quota achievement ever matched.

Connecting with Ikigai Through Service
The Japanese concept of Ikigai taught me that purpose emerges at the intersection of what I love, what I’m good at, what the world needs, and what I can be paid for. For a while, I tried forcing my day job to be the perfect fit for all four criteria simultaneously. What if my position selling software to large corporations isn’t something I’m deeply passionate about? Maybe that’s okay.

If I step back and see my career as part of a broader ecosystem, it starts to make sense. My sales job equips me with knowledge, skills, and stories—raw materials that I can use to foster growth in the community. The community needs people who’ve been in the trenches, who know the grind and can speak to it honestly. That’s something I can provide, and it’s something that transcends just closing deals. It’s more aligned with what the world needs: mentorship, honesty, vulnerability, and support.

In other words, the experience I gain from my 9-to-5 becomes fuel for something more meaningful. I may not love every aspect of the product I sell, but I can love helping others. I may not be passionate about every corporate initiative, but I can be passionate about guiding newer reps who feel lost. This ability to invest my insights back into a community that nurtures growth creates a sense of purpose that feels deeply fulfilling—even if the product I’m selling doesn’t.

A New Kind of Fulfillment
What I’m finding through this online sales community is that my professional identity and my personal sense of purpose don’t have to be perfectly intertwined. Instead, they can coexist in a way that’s mutually beneficial. The better I become at my job—developing strategies, honing my communication, understanding deal dynamics—the more value I have to offer to others. This makes me more effective in the community, which in turn makes my work feel more meaningful, even if it isn’t centered around my ultimate passion.

This realization has eased a weight I’ve carried for a long time. I don’t have to find a company whose mission aligns perfectly with my life’s calling to feel purposeful. Instead, I can draw from my day job to give back. I can let that generosity, mentorship, and support be the thing that lights me up and connects me to others in a meaningful way.

Embracing the Bigger Picture
Ultimately, this perspective shift helps me understand that purpose can come from how we leverage our roles, not just from the roles themselves. I can use my day job to cultivate valuable experiences and insights. I can turn around and share those lessons, helping other sales professionals find their footing. Through that, I discover a sense of fulfillment and service that touches on my Ikigai—contributing to something greater than myself.

So, I’m no longer pressuring my 9-to-5 to carry the full weight of my purpose. Instead, I’m grateful for the skills I’m developing at work because they allow me to make a difference in the community. By focusing on being my best self each day—learning more, refining my craft—I’m ultimately becoming a better mentor, a better advisor, and a more purposeful individual. And that, at the end of the day, feels like the kind of legacy and impact I’ve been seeking.